I have a new tumblr now. Well, kinda. 

Hey… I am back.

I am not entirely sure if that is a good thing, or a bad thing. I don’t know. I just write in here when I can’t put the words together in my head, so I have to put them all in front of me, to then, try to make them have at least some sense.

Oh, it has been really hard lately. Not like it used to, but almost just as bad, and quickly. I really shouldn’t be complaining, right? I have a house to live in, a beautiful girlfriend, and a considerably “easy life.” But no.

Pressure, pressure, pressure. More and more weight in my shoulders that don’t go away. Long nights without sleep. Long days without eat. Something is not really right. But what? I have no clue, but I have to tell someone, even if a simple, abandoned, ugly blog about the state that I’m currently in.

I am exhausted, everything is going down the hill, and that includes me. Can’t everything just be a little easier? Just a little bit, not much. So I can get back in my feet and smile more, not be tired because I slept right, eating when I am supposed to, being stronger and more comprehensive than ever before. Is that too much to ask for?

C’mon, just give me a little break and make things work for once.

My new video! :)
Check it out and give me some feedback!!!

Foo Fighters - Times Like These (Acoustic Cover)

My first YouTube video guys! :D
A cover of “Everlong” by Foo Fighters! 

500 posts! YAAAY!!! :D :D

500 posts! YAAAY!!! :D :D

You have no idea how it hurts.

No, I am not talking about sex. No, I am not talking about pain - not directly at least. I am just talking about missing someone so much, that you can feel it starts to hurt, that it starts to feel like your heart is just gonna get smaller and smaller, until it turns into something of the size of a ping-pong ball (or maybe disappear, who knows?).

I think 1 week, 4 days, or just ONE day, never felt that long before. I just can’t stay a couple days without you, without us. It just feels like something is missing, like part of me is just not there. And it hurts a little. I know it’s not your fault, I really do. I know that if you could, we would see each other every single day, or at least once every 2 days, but we sadly can’t. And I would do anything to change that.

If I only knew… I would’ve studied harder, I would’ve done a lot of things differently, I would’ve approached things differentially at the first place. Maybe if I did so, we could see each other every single day like most of the couples do, and like we always wanted to. Maybe, we would not miss each other that much like we do right now, having to wait almost a week to meet again. Who knows?

Does it suck? Yes! Does it hurt? Sometimes. Do I miss you? Hell yeah, I do! Would I change something, anything, related to you?…… I don’t think so. Maybe that’s just the way things have to be. We need to have patience for every little thing, and for everything that we always dreamed about. I can honestly wait for a month, a year, even 2 years for most of the things, but just don’t let me stay a whole week without you, I just can’t handle it. It’s just too much (or should I say not enough?).

It just hurts, and you have no idea how much.

I’m in love… i’m in love for much more than 5 months and it just feels…. amazing!